Other than the iPod dock toilet paper speaker we thoroughly tested, there hasn't been any real advancement in the area of ass wiping technology in the past few years. This Hello Kitty dispenser changes everything with its automated dispensing unit that lets you program exactly how many sheets you want for your next wipe—which may sound useful, but doesn't quite account for when you've got hard, rocky poops followed by soft, liquidy ones. But when you slap a Hello Kitty logo and an automated turning mechanism onto something, you're pretty much pounding on the Nobel Prize committee's collective door and asking for the cash. [Holy Batman! Today is Tired of hearing about Toshiba HD DVD players and displays? Well, you can sit on it. Rather, sit on this: Toshiba's set to release a new energy-efficient bidet-style heated toilet in Japan. That's right, a toilet.

It's energy-efficient (read: environmentally friendly) because it heats water each time it's used as opposed to keeping a heater on 24/7 in order to store warm water. The water flows through tubes in the seat (which has been reshaped to minimize heat loss) and up your bum when you're finished, cleaning itself off with antibacterial ionized water after it's cleaned you.

It even has a deodorizing fan built in, but I still think the best part about the whole thing is that it has a remote control to lift the seat. All I need is one more remote - added to the remotes for my iPod, my ceiling fan, and the 17 items in my entertainment center, it'll make for The important thing to remember is that Glass Toilets were someone's Dream. Day in and day out, they encountered their white, artless, fully opaque toilet tank and saw a missed Opportunity. After several years of honing their pitch at cocktail parties followed by drunken tears and reassessment of their life later in the evening, the creator of the Glass Toilets was ready to Take The Plunge*. [Forget the Wiimote, this humble German-engineered device houses a racing game controlled by your powerful stream of urine. Designed to promote taxis as an alternative to drunk driving, the Piss-Screen shocks drunkards with a brutal car crash when they inevitably ram their virtual roadster into oncoming traffic. Apparently if you're too drunk to play a video game with your junk, you're too drunk to drive home. Don't have to pee? Try the Did you know 855,000 phones are flushed down the toilet every year in the UK?

That's both true and ridiculous. SimplySwitch, a price comparison site that apparently services the UK, came up with this number. How many people are in the UK? 60.7 million? That's about 1.5% of the population that actually flushed their phones down the toilet. Somewhere, the sexy plumber babe is laughing.

Other interesting stats: 315,000 are lost in a taxi, 225,000 in a bus, 58,500 to dogs, and 116,000 in the laundry.

All this phone loss is probably why the cellphone industry is doing so well. It can't be because of their fantastic UI improvements year over year. – Jason Chen

Brits Drop 850,000 Phones Down the Toilet - Each Year [Cellular News via Wireless Info]

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