In a federal raid yesterday, agents From Slate’s

Hey, boys and girls! If you’re like most typical American teenagers, you don’t waste your allowance money or the extra cash for your paper route on things like Usher albums or t-shirts from Hot Topic. No, you just let it sit in your bank account until you have enough to do something really big — something that helps your country, and lowers your parents’ tax bill at the same time! We’re talking, of course, about writing a big fat check to Mitt Romney!

The hard-hitting investigators over at the Huffington Post have blown the lid off of the nefarious and totally legal practice of “bundling,” whereby a bunch of people who know each other all donate large chunks of money to the same candidate. Wonkette readers already know that Walnuts sent out an e-mail today where, as on Monday, he quotes some riff-raff evidence about elections coming sooner than expected and, as a result, he’ll need cash immediately for a presidential dime bag. My spam filter has failed me yet again.

In Monday’s e-mail he mentioned a Post article about New Hampshire maybe moving its primary to Dec. 15 (not happening). Putting on his best “Mooooooom? Can I have $3.46 million for a new bike?” impression, his e-mail read, “The most effective way we can prepare is to put 100% of our New Hampshire budget in the bank right now” (emphasis his).

Today, he announces that the Republican Iowa caucus is set for Jan. 3, “JUST 78 Days Away!” He then doubles up on Monday’s request: “The most effective way we can prepare is to put 100% of our Iowa and New Hampshire budget in the bank right now” (three guesses whose emphasis that is).

Yeah, let’s give money to this guy’s campaign in Iowa after he ignored it in 2000 and didn’t participate in the Iowa Straw Poll this summer. Why can’t he just confess that he’s behind on his AmEx rather than saying every primary is happening, like, noonish tomorrow?

[JohnMcCain.com]

McCain Now Ripping Off Forgotten Danny DeVito Roles [War Of The Roses Dept.]

“It wasn’t government’s job to spend millions to save buggy whip factories and haberdashers when cars replaced carriages and men stopped wearing hats. And it isn’t government’s job to spend billions preserving products and services that we can’t sell anymore.”
— John McCain in Michigan

Danny DeVito in the 1991 dramedy Other People’s Money (skip to 2:45):

See? John McC