One would have thought, after that "ow, my hamstring, I have to LEAVE!" display by Roger Clemens in the ALDS last month, the "Rocket," as they call him, would finally realize it's better to leave well enough alone. But no: Even though he's We have to say, it's pretty awesome that on the night each of them reached a career milestone that assured they will be in Hall of Fame, Frank Thomas and Craig Biggio did something stupid/embarrassing within a matter of minutes.

First, Thomas. Notes on a day in baseball:

• In The Immortal Words Of Elaine Benes: 'Get Out!' It kind of sucks to be Dan Wheeler right now. The Astros reliever came in and gave up three runs to blow a save on Wednesday, as the Athletics went on to beat Houston 7-3. When Wheeler got back to the dugout after being pulled, starter Chris Sampson -- who had pitched well for seven innings -- attempted to console him with a pat on the back. But Wheeler shoved Sampson away, screaming at him to go to the other end of the dugout. Wait, wha --? Jason Kendall homered (not a misprint) to lead Oakland. "There's nothing going on," Wheeler said. "I love Chris. It was just frustration on my part. I'm a professional, I should be better than that. I take full responsibility." Such drama for a 27-38 team. And we would so like to see a replay of that moment with Carlos Zambrano playing the Chris Sampson role.

• The Empire Strikes Back. Meanwhile the Yankees won and the Red Sox lost, with New York moving to within 8 1/2 of first-place Boston in the AL East. Hey, we're just sayin'. Alex Rodriguez hit his 25th homer in a 7-2 win over the Diamondbacks, and Mike Mussina got his first win in more than a month. New York has won eight straight and 11 of 13.

• Rocked By Rockies. Brad Hawpe is considering starting his own blog after hitting a three-run homer off of Curt Schilling in the fifth, as Colorado went on to a 12-2 win over the Red Sox.

• Just Let 'Em Fight. Florida manager Fredi Gonzalez and Marlins players Taylor Tankersley and Aaron Boone were all ejected after Tankersley hit the Indians' Grady Sizemore in the back with a two-strike pitch in the sixth. It was one of those deals where both teams had been warned not to hit anyone. We're not sure we like this rule; it seems that baseball is going to great lengths to prevent fights that don't ever amount to any sort of violence anyway. "Stupid, just stupid," as Berman would say. David Dellucci broke a tie with a three-run homer in sixth, leading Cleveland to a 7-3 win.

• Last, But Not Least. Felipe Lopez's bases-loaded triple off Chris Ray in the 11th carried the Nationals over the Orioles 9-6.

What they're saying around the blogs on Roger Clemens signing with the Yankees ...

• Clemens Signs With Yankees For $28 Mil. The Yankees announced that they have signed Fat Billy from Ohio to a minor league contract. Good. I did not want to spend any of my summer evenings rooting for that asshole. I'm going on record right here: 2007 is the year FBfO goes into a serious decline. Serious. [The Joy Of Sox]

• Just Another Overpriced Brick In The Brokedown Palace. Roger Clemens going back to the Yankees? Aw, hell I never really wanted that bloated bastard back here anyway. Honest. I'll have more later. I just... I just can't talk right now... ::runs off crying:: [Surviving Grady]

• Oh Yeah, There Was A Game Today. It's amazing that nobody caught on to Clemens' return prior to the announcement. What a shocker! Oh what I would have given to have been at the stadium. Roger hopes to return by the end of the month. With any luck, it'll be the last 3 days of the month when the Yanks travel to Toronto because I'll already be there. That'd be killer. I might have to make a roadie to Scranton and see a minor league start depending on the timetable. I'm still in utter disbelief that this went down today. Somebody queue up U2's "Beautiful Day." Wow. [Baseball & The Boogie Down Bronx]

• Ex-cellent. Roger Clemens announced to all Red Sox fans that he hates us the second he went to the Yanks the first time. Were you all too fucking blind to see him literally (not figuratively, literally) kissing and rubbing the face of Babe Ruth before every game he pitched for the Yanks? Please, everyone, get on board the "hate Clemens" express. It's so fun! You get to root against that fat traitor swine. I couldn't see how it would make sense any other way. [A Red Sox Fan From Pinstripe Territory]

• The Rocket Returns. We knew George was angry, but we didn't know he was desperate yet. Fire Joe? Hmm. No. How about sign Roger for a bijillion dollars. Oh yes. He's going to pay this guy like he is the savior. And, well, he just may be. Finally, the Yankees getting Clemens means that the Red Sox don't. This was even earlier than expecte