Mike Huckabee's So the great mystery of why the State Department ignored all those rapes and sexual assults on its lady citizens stationed in Iraq is slowly unraveling: they were in on it! This story comes via Tracy Barker, a onetime Halliburton employee who was summoned to the Basra bachelor pad of one Farsi translator Ali Mokhtare with an urgent request: he needed someone to fix his air conditioner. And he was certainly in need of some cooling off when she arrived! In other news, Huckabee thinks all us dirty little whores should just submit, the Clinton campaign adviser who broke yesterday's shocking Blowbamagate story resigned, and it turned out that a bunch of athletes like drugs too. (Thanks to reader Kelsey Meuse for the graphic!) Also: in honor of snow, Megan and I discuss our favorite Christmas carols. After the lump!

Moe: Are you seriously seriously not available?
Megan: oh, no, I'm good. I just end up with like every friend in the world being like, hey! I have the day off! Let's chat about stuff!
Moe: I totally hate friends for that reason!!!
Megan: I mean, I love friends, but sometimes I'm like, can't t