Clarence Thomas doesn't just love porn. He is a porn star. In an article about the obscene number of gifts Thomas has accepted since joining the high court, the LA Times gives us some insight on the judge's aesthetic tastes: a $375 "performance chip" for his Corvette (a 'Vette! Very "Boogie Nights"!), an "$800 Daytona 500 commemorative jacket after Thomas served as grand marshal at the race in 1999, $1,200 worth of tires from a businessman in Omaha in 2002 and $1,375 in cowboy boots, Stetson hats, rawhide coat and a silver buckle after engagements in Texas in 1995 and 1996." Rawhide coat! So hardcore.
Speaking of hardcore -- let's find out more about these pals of Thomas's who are so generous. Apparently, a lot of them hang out in large groups where no women are present. Neat! Says one friend one such gathering: "They were all smoking cigars. It was a very manly Texas thing." Sure. Sometimes a cigar is just a symbolic penis. Put it in context: "He said the participants slept in sleeping bags and tents, and that the activities included a greased pig race." Greased pig race... So that's what they're calling it these days....
It's just missing a couple of columns -- "people insulted," "property damaged" and, of course, "does anyone have it on tape."
Seriously, we totally love it that the government wants to help. Please let us know if "vodka and Grey Goose" counts as one drink or two....
Popular New Year's Resolutions [FirstGov.com]
The Westboro Baptist Church, that citadel of of Christianity and homophobia, has put out a press release proclaiming, "Thank God for Tsunami & 2,000 Dead Swedes!!" The celebratory attitude stems from a, well, unorthodox interpretation of "Why does God let bad things happen?": How many tsunami-dead Swedes are fags and dykes? vacationing on their fat expendable incomes without kids to bother and spend money on.We don't have hard numbers on how many of those who perished were playing for what team, but we thank the Westboro Baptist Church for calling attention to the tremendous loss in the pervert community. We were going to encourage readers to donate money to relief efforts (Or "send cash," as the president put it), but now we're thinking we need to do more than recruit funds. We need to recruit more ass-fuckers. Give until it hurts, people. Give until it hurts... in the ass.
The Rainbow World Fund is the official Wonkette Tsunami Tragedy Relief Organization. RWF is realizes that "Much of the world still sees GLBT people as only caring about sex, drugs, and Madonna. We care about a lot more than that." (Though please don't try and re-sell their copy of The Immaculate Collection.) Click here to give, specify "Asia Response".
Westboro Tsunami Statement [Raw Story]
RELATED: Gay group helps tsunami relief efforts [Planet Out]